Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
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My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
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My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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