drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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