You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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