Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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