I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
