please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
