By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
