what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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