could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
