I'm going to jail i love you
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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