Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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