what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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