So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I supernannyed him into submission
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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