Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize