Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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