hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
