it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
