It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
