every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
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Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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