He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
worst night to have a conscience
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
