pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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