i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
