they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale