Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
