i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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