i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
