remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
