Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
