dude i'm inner monologue high
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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