You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
