I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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