she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
