so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize