No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
