i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
