You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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