We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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