she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
