Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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