all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sorry about my life...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
