do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
