I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
