It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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