New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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