I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
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I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
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what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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