so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
