and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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