My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize