look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Congratulations! We have a period
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