It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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