The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
