So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
