i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
