I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
