You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
