Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
