I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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