Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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