i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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