We won't sleep together?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
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He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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