He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
